Julien

So the good news is that I finally got to the point where I was sick of wanting, wishing, and hoping that Julien and this book would just jump out of my head and onto the page. I’m finally ready to do something about it. Something has changed and I have no idea what that is. I want this book to be written so badly. I know the book is in my head. I see it when I close my eyes, I feel it when I think about the characters, and I can still smell the trees in the square at the end of Rue Merindol every once and a while when I walk through this city. I know its there but I need to figure out how to get it out. Ive started to outline the book and I want to give myself a good amount of time to write it. There are several things I want to do before I start on this project. This blog is one of them. I want to spend sometime writing everything that pops into my head here before I start with the novel. It needs to be done correctly and it needs to be given the care and skill that is deserves. Also, there are about 4 books that I need to read before I start on this endeavor. Because “a writer who writes more than he reads is a sure sign of an amateur.”

Im so scared that this book is going to be a total waste of my time. I was talking to my friend Larry the other day after book club and I told him that I would rather not write this book and leave it trapped in the recesses of my mind for all time that to write it and not do it justice. I don’t know what to do in this situation. The story is perfect that way it is, the way I see it. It is the greatest story ever told in my mind. Love, life, self exploration, pain, lose, all with the backdrop of Provence. It is visually stunning. Two lost boys who can find no direction in this world but together they are a little less alone. The story ends shortly after it begins but one boy is left forever changed by the experience.

Maybe my entire life is going to be filled with quiet nights in a dark room with music from that time in my life playing the background while I replay the faded after images of a doomed love affair over and over in my head. Ill keep you updated as things progress with the outline.